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Poetry || SubmissionsEnd of Marriageby Lois Ungar I Sometimes I rush on so much to do at my mother's I didn't cook or wash dishes as if I didn't know how to II sometimes the hate fills me if he's drinking or stoned and sometimes he calls me and I say I love you Rage barbarian degenerate I want to stick my nails into his stoned flesh I want to beat him and hurt him and make it go away I want a spiritual man that I can count on. III I woke up one day and realized I had 4 children I wanted you to be sorry to make it up to me but you don't care you care about the next drink the next puff of dope the next bit of childhood and irresponsibility you can cling to IV I woke up one morning and realized I had raised 4 children Someone's drunk all the time or stoned forces you to be the grownup never able to relax and have fun never time never money for the things that are meaningful to me on guard we walked on eggshells my daughter said in the one room sugar cabin wood heat hauling water the fourth child took all the attention throwing tantrums rages yelling at children mama trying to make it all right oldest child doesn't sleep one eye open all the time in log cabin sugar house where mama bled and seven year old daughter tended to her where was papa off in NY on vacation the snow fell and daughter wished he hadn't come home at all V I stayed home and didn't go to class the night of the healing And you said here's your pen I didn't use it thanks Next nite you weren't stoned or drunk or anything And when you went out for a drink with a friend I didn't mind because that's not the same as being drunk stoned alone and besides I could meditate and later after I had looked into flames read some poetry and put on velvet robe I wondered where you were all the blades cripple then gingerly people deal with each other not to offend a blue tablecloth a blue mountain sapphire the color of the Shekinah it goes without saying near the edge someone told me how her husband left her puzzelment in her voice VI Now he's told me that our sex is no good but he still loves me puts the mouth of the beer bottle into my mouth would rather wait till I really want him I push leaves around the beer makes me a little high I could climb on the chair and watch television but in confusion after breaking a favorite cup I read a book in bed VII Once lovers now in separate rooms she reads a poem about someone putting his lover in a bed with a white satin cover and wishes he would do that for her VIII now that he has broken open the vault my gems that really are in the box long to come out Alone in her neat room Alone in her neat room there are times that she regrets that she has not seen my red sox my plaid nightgown my disarrayed room drank my coffee chatted with me in my living room there is eternity to be hoped for and spirits hovering around with only true feelings left a doll with her I know I left it to remind her of me sometimes Girls of Privilege there have always been girls of privilege girls of success sometimes they're born with it sometimes they just have it mommy put the napkins on the table everyone had one but me she said see how careless you are you already lost your napkin Coming back she was of the generation that called children names like moonbeam and flower she was moon. she stood on a warm rock overlooking the river He was an Indian. I like my hair long he said. It's nice when you've just washed it. they touched (hands) fingertips. sometimes that's all there was touching fingertips which was enough. one day he said I like Tel Aviv. It had taken a lot of years So she made cakes In between the layers she put jam they stretched straight up to the sky. Lives can be cut with a bullet or an illness So be patient when lives are cut with a relationship Lois Ungar is a poet who made her way from the New York stage to Vermont and then Israel. Today's Situation
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