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I have to think outside the fucking box to survive
By Gato Clemente

"If you ever see me coming
And If you know who I am
Don't you breathe it to nobody
'cause you know I'm on the Lam."

Johnny Cash / Wanted man


Outlaws are existentialists...

That's what Hamlin says
We are discussing the merits of Sartre via email
He writes me

"All outlaws are existentialists because they have to think outside of the box to survive."

I wonder if it's not the other way around
Maybe all existentialists are outlaws
Because they can't think inside the box
I am not an expert on existential thought
I do know that reading Sartre's Nausea
Makes me laugh harder than anything Bukowski ever wrote
And somehow I feel ashamed and embarrassed
By finding humor in Sartre
In what should seem so bleak and desperate and alone
And somehow I feel ashamed and embarrassed
Of being white and nearly middle class
Of being so goddamned invisible
Fuck it
We're all outlaws
At least any one of us
With the time or inclination to
Think Outside of the box

I feel like the shooter in Le Etranger
I am an outlaw
I have to think outside the fucking box to survive

I have not had gainful employment in 11 months
I am an outlaw
I have to think outside the fucking box to survive

I buy my children's xmas gifts at the 99 cent store
I am an outlaw
I have to think outside the fucking box to survive

I buy my bread at the day old outlet
I am an outlaw
I have to think outside the fucking box to survive

I hustle movie star's books
I am an outlaw
I have to think outside the fucking box to survive

Wanda Coleman Doesn't have time to let me publish her work
I am an outlaw
I have to think outside the fucking box to survive

The towers have fallen
I am an outlaw
I have to think outside the fucking box to survive

We are flirting with war
I am an outlaw
I have to think outside the fucking box to survive

I am afraid
I am an outlaw
I have to think outside the fucking box to survive


Sartre was an outlaw
I am an outlaw
My friend Bradley is an outlaw
Johnny Cash is an outlaw...

You...

Are an outlaw


GATO CLEMENTE IS AN EX JUNKIE, PARATROOPER, MADMAN AND CONVICT. HE RESIDES IN EAST LOS ANGELES WITH HIS CAT PANOCHA WHERE HE EARNS HIS LIVING STEALING HUBCAPS AND RAISING GREYHOUNDS FOR THE TIJUANA DOG RACES. He has a website

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