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Raymond Calbay

Heliophilia

"And in the movement of the sun, I felt something I
hardly know how to name: some huge, cosmic love."
- Haruki Murakami
I.
After tucking in our shadows
Whole under our skin, we collect whatever
Darkness remains in us--
Between fingers, under the eyelids, inside
The mouth, beneath the body's unnamed creases--
And fold it up until it fits
On the spread of our palms.
Roll it until it balls out crisp
And hard,
Like our hearts.
Leave it with the right amount of sunshine,
It might grow up to become a tree
Or a yellow flower.

II.
Everything is assumed clear
In light such as this.

The emptiness we recognize as soul space
Finally becomes legible, redeems:

It keeps the sorrow of skin, holds pain
We are accused of shaping and willing.

When the sun clears it, we burn.

III.
Do not ask for reprieve, we are all forgiven:
Our footsteps leave no trace, our breath
Fragments, and soon we return
Back to light.
Shall we then surrender
Hand in hand,
Exhaling:
Ra

Meeting Hole



As agreed, I take this streetside seat
In this coffee shop cavity of our default city,
The cappuccino cup my only source
Of warmth.

My wristwatch's second hand ticks
With the gravity of proverbial longing
As the soutane sky claims
Straying shadows.

I light a cigarette, drawing in
Your memories
In the silhouette of smoke:
Peaks and pits of secreted limb,
Bubblegum tongue,
Arabesque of hair
And hips.

I have no choice but stay.
Beneath the pavement's cracks,
The undercurrent
Of your stilettoed steps
Travels, shudders my spine.

Behind me, the chimes sing good luck,
Or good riddance,
With the shop door's every
Swing.

So my ceremony with silence continues.
The cappuccino grows cold, and in my fingers
The cigarette burns, ashes away.

I endure the waiting because
When your presence assembles
Next to my skin,
Maybe your lips will move first,
Lick off the rain dew collecting
In the laugh lines of my face.



Guitar lesson



Release the pressure:
Slide the right thumb
From the first string down
And what comes out, always,
Is distinctly sad.

Arranging the acoustic interlude,
I lie back against the couch,
Legs stretched and ankles crossed,
Relaxed from the weight of
Outside worries.

In my arms the guitar,
A classic varnished mahogany,
Cradled as if the two of us pose
For an opening samba.

Played by this instrument
For the second week now,
Keeping your instructions in mind,
I order my fingers in their proper
G Major places, straining
My middle one to pin
The correct chords.

My first strum jangles but without you
To tell me to stop, I strum
And strum anyway forgetting
The string patterns, fret tuning,
And chord series that composes
Music into your decided tenor.

I rather release the pressure, the strain
In the strings. Fingers untangled
To feel with the bleeding melody

As it plucks the heart to beat
With what you call discordant,
Broken.


Raymond Calbay is a business reporter for The Manila Times. His poetry has been published in local publications and has won an Honorable Mention in the Los Angeles-based Third Meritage Press Holiday Contest.



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