Religious Pluralism \ Parashat Hashavua-- The Weekly Torah Portion by Rabbi Amy Levin

Estranged Brothers Parashat Vay'chi Genesis 47:28 - 49:26

9-10 January, 1998 -- 12 Tevet 5758

Two average Israelis -- that is, not halachically religious, but connected to some traditions of Judaism -- are walking down the street. An ultra-orthodox family rounds the corner -- the father in a black suit with a knee-length coat, the mother wearing a wig and a long-sleeve dress, the seven children of various ages sporting either braids or peyot (earlocks), depending on their gender. One Israeli looks at the other and says: "I told you they'd be taking over our neighborhood next!"

The immigrant generation of the family is now in their late sixties, they've been in Israel since their three children were young. Now, as grandparents, they want to get the whole family together -- all their children, their spouses and all their grandchildren. Events like this are what we all live for -- but the oldest child has become very religious and does not want his family eating in his parents' home. The middle child is an activist for Meretz and hasn't spoken to her younger sister since she moved to Hevron with her family. Saba and Savta just don't know if they'll ever be able to celebrate Hanukah with their whole family together, ever again . . . .

Shira comes home from gan very excited, she has a new friend named Tomer. "And guess what, Ima? Tomer has two imas and no abba!" Shira keeps asking for a playdate with Tomer -- but somehow, Shira's Ima never seems to have time to arrange it . . . .

At first glance, there may not seem to be much in common among the three scenarios I've just described. But, sadly, they share two crucial points: they are reflective of everyday incidents; and they are all cases of "estranged brothers".

This very broad definition of "brother" -- which includes blood relatives, neighbors and strangers alike -- is biblical. In the book of Devarim (Deuteronomy 17:15) we read: "Be sure to set as king over yourself one of your brothers" Elsewhere in Devarim: "If a man steals a soul (kidnaps) from his brother . . . .(24:7)" Next week, in Parashat Shmot (Exodus), we will read: "When Moses grew up, he went out to his brothers and witnessed their labors."(2:11)

The Torah is teaching us that the word "achim", brothers", is a comprehensive term inclusive of all the people, Israel. The Torah commands us to accept the common ground shared by us all: by new immigrants, by settlers, by feminists, by the ultra-orthodox, by single parents and by homosexuals -- no matter how vast the differences between us. We we approve or disapprove the each others' values and life-styles -- we are "achim". Despite the conditions that compel us towards estrangement, we are, after all, the children of Israel. Beyond that, the Bible reminds us: "You are, all of you, the children of the Lord your God. (Judges 20:7)"

Parashat Vay'chi deals with the achievement of peace between estranged brothers. Simultaneously, with the end of the book of Breishit (Genesis), the role of the patriarchs and matriarchs also ends, and the emphasis shifts to the resolution of the story of Joseph and his brothers. With the death of Jacob, the estranged brothers are no longer united by fialty to their father. With Jacob's death they have lost their paternal shield against Joseph's revenge. On their return to Egypt from burying Jacob in Hevron, the brothers worry: "What if Joseph still bears a grudge against us and pays us back for all the wrong we did him?"(50:15).

Joseph's brothers were so intimidated by their brother that they sent a messenger before them to smooth the way: "So they sent this message to Joseph . . . . 'Forgive, I urge you, the offense and guilt of your brothers . . . Therefore, please forgive the offense of the servants of the God of your father." (50:16 -17) -- echoes of their grandfather, Jacob's, apprehensions before his reconciliation with his estranged brother Esau.

To forgive is a terribly difficult thing to do -- and Joseph had good reason to harbor resentment against his brothers. How did he find his way to reconcile with his brothers? The medieval commentator, Abravanel, suggests a path to forgiveness, even when the hurt has come from one's closest connections: If you cannot forgive them, "because they have not acted as brothers ought toward you, then forgive them for the sake of spiritual brotherhood, for they serve the God of your father Jacob . . . as the prophet Malachi taught: 'Have we not one father? Did not one God create us'"

The path to peace, for all of us who love our country, and seek to love our people is to emphasize what unites us, not what estranges us. And for each of us to adopt Joseph's humility by saying: "Have no fear! Am I to stand in God's place?"(50:19)

Shabbat Shalom

BIOGRAPHICAL NOTE: Amy Levin has served as rabbi of the Masorti (Conservative) Family Congregation of Beit Ha-Kerem, Jerusalem, since September 1995. She is one of the first women to study in the rabbinical school of the Masorti/Conservative Seminary of Judaic Studies in Jerusalem. In addition to her congregational work, Amy teaches Talmud at Hebrew Union College's new Liberal Yeshiva -- a program designed to introduce English speakers to the basic texts and concepts of the Jewish tradition. Amy made aliyah in 1981 and is the mother of two wonderful teenagers.

Write directly to Rabbi Levin c/o siddur@shani.net | Visit the Masorti Movement Web Site at http://www.masorti.org

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