I. Frost's Selected Quotations

Everything at Amazon by and about: Noel Coward
Noel Coward

I'll go through life either first class or third, but never in second.
Noel Coward

People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used to be. It is what it used to be. That is what's wrong with it.
Noel Coward

It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.
Noel Coward

"You ask my advice about acting? Speak clearly, don't bump into the furniture and if you must have motivation, think of your pay packet on Friday."
Noel Coward

Mona Lisa looks as if she has just been sick, or is about to be.
Noel Coward

I am not a heavy drinker. I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.
Noel Coward

I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me
Noel Coward

"I'm an enormously talented man, and there's no use pretending that I'm not.."
Noel Coward

"I can't sing, but I know how to, which is quite different."
Noel Coward

Consider the public. Never fear it nor despise it. Coax it, charm it, interest it, stimulate it, shock it now and then if you must, make it laugh, make it cry, but above all never, never, never bore the living hell out of it.
Noel Coward

Private Lives was described variously as "tenuous, thin, brittle, gossamer, iridescent and delightfully daring," all of which connoted to the public mind cocktails, evening dress, repartee and irreverent allusions to copulation, thereby causing a gratifying number of respectable people to queue up at the box office.
Noel Coward


It was not Cafe Society, it was Nescafe Society.
Noel Coward

My body has certainly wandered a good deal, but I have an uneasy suspicion that my mind has not wandered enough.
Noel Coward

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
Noel Coward

Success took me to her bosom like a maternal boa constrictor.
Noel Coward

If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday.
Noel Coward

Someday I suspect, when Jesus has definitely got me for a sunbeam, my works may be adequately assessed.
Noel Coward

Work is much more fun than fun.
Noel Coward

The ladies of earlier years were far smarter. No pants, drinking, swearing and competing with the boys; they just stayed put and, as a general rule, got their own way and held their gentlemen much longer. It really isn't surprising that homosexuality is becoming as normal as blueberry pie
Noel Coward

I don't believe in astrology. The only stars I can blame for my failures are those that walk about the stage.
Noel Coward

I've over-educated myself in all the things I shouldn't have known
Noel Coward

Criticism and Bolshevism have one thing in common. They both seek to pull down that which they could never build
Noel Coward

I've sometimes thought of marrying - and then I've thought again.
Noel Coward

The child was a keen bed-wetter.
Noel Coward

Conceit is an outward manifestation of inferiority
Noel Coward

Television is for appearing on - not for looking at.
Noel Coward

The higher the buildings, the lower the morals.
Noel Coward

Trust your instincts. If you have no instincts, trust your impulses
Noel Coward

Wit ought to be a glorious treat, like caviar. Never spread it about like marmalade.
Noel Coward

Free from love's illusion, my heart is my own: I travel alone
Noel Coward

I can take any amount of criticism as long as I can consider it unqualified praise.
Noel Coward

My importance to the world is relatively small. On the other hand, my importance to myself is tremendous. I am all I have to work with, to play with, to suffer and to enjoy. It is not the eyes of others that I am wary of, but of my own. I do not intend to let myself down more than I can possibly help, and I find that the fewer illusions I have about myself or the world around me, the better company I am for myself.
Noel Coward

Extraordinary how potent cheap music is.
Noel Coward

Never trust a man with short legs. Brains too near their bottoms
Noel Coward

The only thing that really saddens me over my demise is that I shall not be here to read the nonsense that will be written about me and my works and my motives. There will be books proving conclusively that I was homosexual and books proving equally conclusively that I was not. There will be detailed and inaccurate analyses of my motives for writing this or that and of my character. There will be lists of apocryphal jokes I never made and gleeful misquotations of words I never said. What a pity I shan't be here to enjoy them!"
Noel Coward