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Archie Bunker
Archie Bunker
I'm not racist! I'll be the first to say it, it's not their fault they're colored!
Archie Bunker
Listen Edith, I know you're singing, you know you're singing, but the neighbors may think I'm torturing you.
Archie Bunker
My job ain't got nothing to do with thinking, and I'm very good at it
Archie Bunker
Pope is like the Civil Service - he's in it for life
Archie Bunker
God don't make no mistakes - that's how he got to be God
Archie Bunker
A four-letter Italian word for good-bye...BANG
Archie Bunker
Well, I'll tell you one thing about President Nixon. He keeps Pat home. Which was where Roosevelt should have kept Eleanor. Instead he let her run around loose until one day she discovered the colored. We never knew they were there. She told them they were gettin' the short end of the stick and we been having trouble ever since
Archie Bunker
He (Nixon) didn't lie! He just forgot to tell the truth
Archie Bunker
There's nothing wrong with revenge - it's the best way to get even !
Archie Bunker
The only thing that holds a marriage together is the husband being big enough to keep his mouth shut, to step back and see where his wife is wrong.
Archie Bunker
I know all about your women's problems, Edith! If you're going to change, you're going to do it now! And I'm giving you just thirty seconds! Now come on! Change!"
Archie Bunker
Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we've got television
Archie Bunker
I didn't swear! God Dammit. The first word is God. How can that be a swear word? It's the most popular word in the bible. The second word, damn, that's a perfectly good word, you hear it all the time, like they dam the river to keep it from flooding it. And you read in the Bible that some guy was damned for cheating or stealing or having sex in the family. And who damned him? Who else? God. God damned him. Edith, beautiful words right out of the Bible
Archie Bunker
All them surgeons-they're highway robbers. Why do you think they wear masks when they work on you?
Archie Bunker
A once-in-a-lifetime chance comes only once or twice in a lifetime.
Archie Bunker
Tell you something Mr. Stivic. You are a meathead. A meathead, dead from the neck up
Archie Bunker
Your mother-in-law and me is people. Help us. Go to work
Archie Bunker
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but you are one dumb Polock
Archie Bunker
I got nothin' against mankind. It's people I can't stand.
Archie Bunker
I never said a guy who wears glasses is a queer. A guy who wears glasses is a four-eyes. A guy who is a fag is a queer
Archie Bunker
Little boys who play with dolls grow up to be other boys' roommates
Archie Bunker
My Old Man never got over it. Took the heart right outta him, and he wasn't all that old neither, you know. He was just about my age now.
Archie Bunker
If it's too hot in the kitchen, stay away from the cook
Archie Bunker
You can never buy beer, you just rent it
Archie Bunker
Edith, I'm always nice. Go let the jerk in
Archie Bunker
Tore, Feldman, O'Reilly, Nelson... That's an Italian, a Jew, an Irishman and a regular American. That's what I call a balanced ticket
Archie Bunker
I was talking about the Bible which has nothing to do with the Jews
Archie Bunker
I want you all to synchronize your tongues to silence
Archie Bunker
I ain't gonna carry that umbrella, Edith, if the guys at work saw me walk in with that, they'd thing I've turned into an English fruit
Archie Bunker
I like company, I just don't like when they visit
Archie Bunker
Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side
Archie Bunker
It ain't supposed to make sense; it's faith. Faith is something that you believe that nobody in his right mind would believe
Archie Bunker
Edith, at my age I don't need ROUGHAGE--I need SMOOTHAGE!"
Archie Bunker
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